Rambling Thoughts

Gosh are you fricken kidding me throat infection! I just recovered from 2 weeks of flu and now have a throat infection. WTF is wrong with me. I went back to work 1 week on day shifts and changed to night shift, maybe my body was like screw you on being on night shifts. I started to get a really sore throat at work on the night when I was super busy! I didn't think much of it but then when i woke up from my nap it was sooo painful that I had to go to the doctors to get it checked out because I saw there was puss around my throat I thought it was tonsillitis but the doctor says it hasn't quite reached the tonsils yet? strange... but omg it's disgusting but awesome to see it. So I can't go to work which really sucks, I have no money... I used up all my sick leave and cannot have my annual leave hrs replace my sick leave hours. sigh* I've been sick so many times this year it's ridiculous! Maybe I'm over working myself and haven't had any leave since april/m...

I've been sick this whole week. I feel so weak sneezing coughing and using almost 2 boxes of tissues. I hate being sick. The moment when i know i have a sore throat I know I will get sick... I've been so weak, confused and dosed up on medications. I have tried to go for daily walks which has been good but not for too long because i end up having a coughing fit and breathing heavily with phlegm coming up from the back of my throat.. alright too much info. It is past midnight, and I hear a cat outside purring, they cat always comes near our place purring and looking for his/her friend but poor kitty was not informed that his/her friend had moved to Sydney last year. It's funny what you can hear at night time when you are not coughing your lungs out for once.  maybe i should head off and try and get some sleep got plenty to do tomorrow. just a little ramble of my thoughts at the moment -Rambling thoughts

I feel so burnt out from work. Sometimes I feel like I'm giving up on myself sometimes I second guess myself because people around you at work don't trust what you do and already jump to a conclusion and become negative that you have done and something wrong, or done something that is different to their methods and put you an awkward position about everything. Judgement. I don't like it when people are judged on their actions or they just jump to a conclusion that that person has done something wrong, and it is straight away their fault even when it isn't they feel that, that person is responsible for what happened.  I feel that this sort of behaviour in an environment affects the home environment. I feel like I have seen that in myself at home sometimes now that I think about it. I jump to the worst possible conclusions ever and started to be quite snappy and mean and it really affects on my happiness at home with my parents and family members, and also with Mr R. I...

Buying a house is so stressful! the process of it is so annoying! It's close to settlement day and my agent is a bloody useless person! he didn't even bother to contact me to let me know that the house is ready and open for display. I had to find it out on Instagram. I mean come on at least let me know that the house is ready at least. I asked if I could see the house before it was open to the public. He responds saying that the next day is a public holiday and it's too bad and that I will have to see it on the Saturday. I mean come on it is my house after all i should have the right to inspect if every thing is perfect. It's not that hard...  From the beginning til almost the end, the agent who sold the house to us has moved on to another project, and handed over to an agent who did not even bother to contact me to say "Hi how are you blah blah if you have any queries or concern feel free to contact me. " NOTHING AT ALL... so unprofessional. I wonder how h...

tomorrow winter is over, and it will be spring. I can't believe that this year is flying so quickly!! It's a crazy week this week. I'm working 6 days straight I need to catch a breath honestly... Shift work has its ups and downs. Fitting in working out at the gym as well is a challenge. I am sooo bloody tired, but I know I can push myself through work and working out at the gym! I'm strong I can do this! I feel like i need a nap before work, but if I do that I will probably sleep through today so better not do that. I can't wait for the weekend. I only have 1 day off and on for 5... argh... all these extra shifts that I didn't request for.. but it's ok someones got to do it and save the little babies. Is this blog making any sense?

When a single person in your "friendship" circle asks what do you think of that guy/girl from another "friendship"circle. "is he/she a good match for me?".... You speak the truth, nothing but the truth. A friend says: "I've been on many online dates but I can't find the right guy, it takes so much time and effort in getting to know someone." I'm thinking to myself. Yes no shit. No shit it takes time to meet the "right"person. Friend also says "I've given up, I feel that this person makes it so easy to talk to because we have met and have never felt feelings towards each other." Giiiirrrrllll. It may seem easy now but later is difficult. I have given you honest opinions about how this person is and it is not a good idea to date this man. Men can spoil you so much by taking you out on dates, spoiling you with gifts, giving you great sex, and it may seem all so good and easy to deal with right now, but what ab...

July has just been an insane month. I will just dot point everything since I need to catch up on some beauty sleep. - Working, and doing double shifts because we are so short staffed at the moment.. - monthly dinner at a friends place - Every friday and Saturday I have something going on good bye party, 21st birthday parties, unfortunately had to skip 1 of the 21st.. have another 21st coming up, close friends birthday, dinner outtings with friends and Grandpa's surprise birthday party. - Work related things -Sorting out adult life and paper work July is soo busy, I just want the time to stop for a while and let me catch up on sleep and watching dramas and spending time with Mr R. It is soo difficult, we were planning to getaway for a while and do a weekend trip somewhere but it has just been crazy with our lives with work/uni and birthdays. Even though we go to birthdays together etc but we just want to have time to ourselves. hahaha gosh I sound clingy. But it is true when ...

Dislike: when someone has been cruel, mean and selfish. Saying things that is mean and rude to you did nothing to them, and they expect you to change a new leaf to start of fresh. They hate you because you didn't put an effort to talk to them. How does that make sense? Firstly they talk cruel and hateful and disgusting things about you and they reverse the blame to you saying that you didn't make an effort to talk and get to know them?  Firstly I have my stance on why I did not want to associate or talk to you unless it's necessary it is because my perspectives and my views on certain things is conflicting to what you say and think. I was born and raised here. my Australian Chinese background is different to a traditional chinese background. Although I still have those values in place in my heart but there are a lot of things that I disagree with the asian culture. 1. Being respectful to elders- I respected elders a lot when I was younger, however as I am now older I unde...

When you are in a long distance relationship, you really do reflect on how you have coped as an individual. I am just so glad that I've been working 6 days straight because that has kept me busy, and going to the gym as well to kill time instead of waiting in front of the laptop watching drama all day and feel so emo about him not being home. I am grateful that we have awesome technology these days, that I am able to see and talk to him over the phone/internet. People ask how can you do this how can you survive? To be honest it is difficult. The time difference is 2 hrs apart, not that much but putting our work in place it is hard to balance because you may need to sacrifice a few hrs of your sleep time, but it is totally worth it. You have to be honest, trust and communicate with one another. I am just glad that we both are faithful to one another. honesty and trust is a big issue because when your partner is overseas to them it feels like they are in holiday mode and away from ...

Counting to the days til he comes home!!! :) I am surviving this long distance relationship! I thought I would die by crying every single night etc etc. But I have managed! Communication    is the key to a relationship, I'm not saying my relationship is perfect or anything. But please communicate with your loved one and avoid going on to that weird TV show called trouble in paradise? That is show is about where people have problems and go on to a TV show to cause drama and show people how shit your relationship is. Anyway, What should I write in this blog today? Nothing much has been happening except I've been working ridiculous shifts 6 shifts straight last week and another 6 straight this week. sigh* I've also signed myself up on doing some auditing work, not sure if it's complete crazy idea or a good idea. I hope it's good, I want to expand my role as a nurse and do other things, there are plenty of opportunities out there but it all comes down to time, money ...

Finally went to singapore for the first time!  People stare at you and they make it so fucking obvious because you're an outsider and they can tell. If you wear a singlet or a low cut top they stare at you like there is no tomorrow. But besides all those awkwardness.. my highlights:  - eating street food and not getting food poisoning!  - the tea was great i absolutely loved it it's so much better than gong cha!  - marina bay sands, the gardens, the infinity pool  - little india was really cute and indian food was amazing!!!  - shopping was pretty expensive but still managed to buy a few things - Singapore Zoo, River Safari and night safari! SO AMAZING! I finally saw a panda in real life!!!! Also saw many animals that i've never seen before! it was truely amazing to see the many creatures that has created! Oh and feeding an elephant was awesome!!! i loved it! they are soo gentle and loving creatures - Universal was fun but fricken scary!!! th...

Squat 47 kg Romanian Dead lifts 25 kg? Shoulder press 18 kg lat pull downs 41 kg back pulls with dumbbells 25 kg After being injured and having surgery I fell backwards, I felt weak, I felt that I would have restrictions for life (well I am still restricted to some things..) lifting makes me happy and seeing improvements each time I feel a lot fitter and so energised! it's so exciting seeing these progress! Circuit workouts kills me but in a good way. With physiotherapy for movements and massage and a trainer to spot me I see progress. I feel stronger!

I have been sick this whole week. Man it feels good to breathe again! Don't you hate it when you have blocked sinuses and you're struggling to breathe? I was stuck in bed for 2 days with body aching pain. I didn't go to the gym, but finally went on Monday and man I pushed myself til I almost fell asleep on the bike. I guess that is considered a good work out when you are sick?  I have been confused about my profession lately, I feel like I can do so much more but I don't know whether or not I want to further my career or start something completely new. Could it because of the work environment? But if I wanted to start something new, It always comes down to the issue of money. I know money shouldn't be the centre of attention within your life, but I want to buy a house. I don't come from a rich family, I've never relied on centre link for study payments or financially. I did everything the hard way with no major financial support from my parents just only ...

My great grandmother passed away on valentines day. May she rest in Peace.  A day where she chose to leave this world was when everyone was crapping their pants on having no idea what to give their partners. Whereas my great grandmother left this world without suffering too much and leaving her love for her family behind.. well... This is how I see it. I thought I would get to see her again one last time... but she was suffering from shingles and a huge disgusting pressure ulcer that I was so pissed off about, overseas nurses and Personal Care attendants need to be educated more about this. Anyway, enough rant. My Great Grandmother was an amazing woman raised 8 children by herself when her husband died at the age of 50 something. She taught everyone of her children about life, her grand children and great grandchildren the meaning of happiness and life. No one is allowed to cry when she passed away. It's a religious/culture thing. I went to work to keep myself occupied. But ...

I am so proud of Mr R for getting into placements overseas! All that hard work has paid off. But what will I do without him for 5 weeks? Ok I sound clingy... But I hope I can take leave off to go see him. Nothing much has happened after my previous entry about his parents except they were talking to Mr. R about me as if nothing was wrong, Mr R wasn't to pleased with his parents attitude... What's the reason for a new leaf? Don't be fooled! They are trying to be nice because of Chinese New Year. If someone someone was being mean to someone during the new year period or the week before  you apparently will have a bad luck for the rest of the year. That's just a superstitious thought. Anyway..Chinese new year was great. It was nice to spend time with my family and my sister and nephew. Not much has been happening except back to work and on night shifts. My body clock is changed again...

New Zealand is a beautiful country i loved every moment of it that i could share it with Mr R. Even with his parents were there... my holiday turned into "slavery"  Working a whole year with no annual leave. I was already burning out and was looking forward to a nice and relaxing holiday... however it was not the type of relaxing holiday I wanted. I organised to go to places, made bookings that was really difficult to get, made breakfast, cooked dinner in New Zealand. This was not appreciated. I had a feeling why and I knew the reason why after dropping Mr R and his parents at the airport. While I was waiting for Mr R, there was so much I wanted to say to him. But his parents beat me to it... Mr R told me everything of what they have said. Saying brutal and hurtful things about me made me so angry, frustrated and very upset. I've never been so mistreated in my life. I felt like a slave a very low and stupid slave. I don't think anyone should ever be treated this way....